We'll miss you, Aunt Vicki!

Today we're attending the funeral to celebrate the life of our aunt, Vicki Metsers, who passed away Friday, April 5th after a brief & intense battle with cancer.

link: Vicki Marie Metsers OBITUARY

Vicki went too young and with too much light of life in her. It sounds so cliché to say something like, the Earth dimmed on April 5th, but I can't come up with a truer way to say it. I can't tell you how sad it makes me to write this post and I mostly do it so that I have my chance, however brief, to tell Vicki what she meant to me.

When going through pictures for the funeral slideshow, I don't think we ever found a photo of Vicki and me together. I don't understand how this happened since at every family gathering we would make it a point to catch up. We vacationed many times together. We were together at baptisms, graduations, weddings, etc. for the last 16 years! And I'm sure there are pictures out there, but we couldn't find them...And while this saddens me, it also makes it so much more important that I capture the two of us together in my mind and in my heart.

I was only a nephew-in-law to her, but I loved and respected Vicki beyond just calling her 'aunt', I really do feel like she was my aunt too. She was such a role model in her balance of being a mom, wife, and worker. Living with another strong woman going through a similar situation, I observe how challenging that balancing act can be...and Vicki handled it with that bright smile. I see so much of that strength in Lisa, so it makes me happy to know that piece of Vicki lives on and I hope that it ripples into J as well.

Vicki and I connected in the shared experience of being married into the "Christensen-Metsers" clan...which is an amazing group of people that have their own unique set of traditions, family culture, and vocabulary. There's only a handful of us that have joined this family tree and that's an instant bond. It can be overwhelming when you come from a strong network as well. She managed to be totally integrated into this family while completely engaged in her own roots and I learned so much from her on how to manage.

See she was also from outside California and maintained her deep connections with her family thousands of miles away.  By watching her, I realized that holding family close and making efforts to maintain that connection across distance is hard, but totally worth it...and you can figure out how to make it work -- whether that's buying a second home in Arkansas or somehow convincing your parents to retire and move to California.

Vicki and Ron opened their house and life to us. The pool is always ours. The trampoline as well. They shower our kids with presents. They are always happy to host from Sunday BBQ's to Lisa's fancy bridesmaids' luncheon. When my parents moved out to California, Vicki instantly brought them into the family like they'd been here for decades.

Vicki was that rare breed of human that just radiated positivity. It was authentic too. There are people who force optimism ("Best. Day. Ever."). Not Vicki. I really don't think I ever heard her complain and I never got the impression that she withheld them either. There wasn't cynicism or even much sarcasm in how she spoke. Even visiting her in the late stages, she'd say, "this is hard and I'm ok." There was nothing artificial in the statement. It was hard. And she was ok. I don't know if I'm making any sense here...let's just sum it up to say, Vicki never questioned the water level in the glass, there was only half-full.

The world did get darker without Vicki's joy, generosity, intelligence, and positivity. It won't ever be the same again. But I do feel that heaven, whatever and wherever that is, got all the brighter.